...on Brian Boitano? I know, weird. But I'm sitting here watching his new cooking show on the food network called "What would Brian Boitano make?" and laughing my ass off. I guess if I was a full out gourmet, I wouldn't consider watching a cooking show by an ex-olympic cancer surviving figure skater. But I'm not full out gourmet, I'm only halfway. So there. So go set your DVR and watch Brian Boitano's show. You will be amused.
Up until this point in my life, my only experience with the aforementioned fish was from a hilarious bit from the too-awesome-for-words movie UHF (Wheel! Of! Fish!). And then Tuesday came.
Okay, let me back up a bit. Last weekend Kelly and I decided to take a trip to Traders Joe's. We heart TJs, but we don't so much heart the crowds that accumulate there on the weekends. However, 10 AM on Sundays is the best time for heathens likes us to shop since many folks are at church services. Anyway, I'm walking down the freezer aisle and notice that there is a variety of tasty fish. I love seafood, but haven't cooked much more than shrimp or salmon on the grill, so I decided to try something new. Hence, the Red Snapper.
More back story: early last week I was at the JCU bookstore and they had a ton of books on sale and I ended up picking up two cookbooks for a total of $4.89. One of which was a book called "Chef Interrupted" and it promised to be a book of recipes from famous chefs that have essentially been dumbed down (the recipes, not the chefs) for the home cook. There must have been some super fine print that said "but only if you have crazy expensive ingredients like truffle oil or hard to find fish like Rouget." But I was lucky enough to find a recipe for a Parmesan and herb-crusted red snapper that sounded quite tasty and not too involved.
Okay, now we are back to Tuesday. Kelly has worked late and is in route to Hatgas Compound East while I get dinner ready. So I am cutting up chive and tarragon, carefully measuring turmeric and Parmesan, and mixing it all together with some good ole panko bread crumbs (a new favorite of mine). I put it all together with some melted butter, covered the fish with it and under the broiler it went.
I know what you are thinking right now; "uh oh. What happens next? How did bumbling Kevin screw this one up?" But that is kinda the point...that never happened. I made a pretty good fish dish with ingredients that I was unfamiliar with and I didn't crack, I didn't lose confidence (though I almost ruined the rice pilaf). I guess I'm getting a little more confidence in the kitchen which is never a bad thing.
My rambling will end soon, I promise, but I do need to tell you a bit about the fish. It was okay. It wasn't stellar and it wasn't garbage, it was just kinda "eh"...nothing special. I really liked the snapper- it's firm, it's slightly sweet, it's a very nice fish to be sure- but the crust on the fish was nothing to write home about. I think it's because of that stupid tarragon, which didn't quite overpower the dish, but it was really close. If I do this again, I will substitute the tarragon for some parsley and I think this could be a keeper.
By the way, if you've never seen UHF "you're so stupid!!"
Because this is a food blog, I suspect you don't just want us to write about how fun it is to eat. "For the love of God," you might cry "What on earth is a zucchini fry and how does one even go about conceptualizing such a thing?!"
So my friends, I give you the following zucchini recipes. Not Kelly originals, but carefully (and sometimes carelessly) edited and tweaked. Kevin can tell you that it takes great restraint on my part not to alter or change any recipe I come across. Some people enjoy the exhilaration and danger of skydiving. Me? I like to add a teaspoon of cinnamon or some mustard powder and see what happens. To each his own, right?
I know, I know. Quit rambling and on with the recipes already!
Zucchini Cake
ingredients:
4 large eggs
2C white sugar
1/3C canola oil
2/3C unsweetened apple sauce (This is a subsitute for oil in an attempt to make a cake that was slightly less evil)
2C all purpose flour
1tsp salt
2tsp cinnamon
2tsp baking powder
8oz canned crushed pineapple, drained
1C chopped pecans (can use walnuts too, I just had pecans on hand)
2C grated zucchini (minimum--if you have more to add, you can back off the pineapple); I do this in my food processor with the shredder blade on clean-up is a bitch, but it sure is fast!
2tsp vanilla extract
directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a pan. This can be done in a bundt, tube, or 9x13 pan--just have the confidence to change it up AND check on it about 10-15 minutes before the cooking time is up to make sure it doesn't burn. You can also make cupcakes if you so desired!
2. Measure out dry ingredients in a small bowl and whisk a few times to incorporate and break up any lumps, etc. You can also add the nuts to the flour and stir to coat. Coating the nuts before you add them to the batter will keep them from sinking down to the bottom of your cake as it bakes.
3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat eggs and sugar until pale in color. Add oil, applesauce and mix again.
4. Add dry ingredients and mix just until flour is incorporated. Add pineapple, zucchini, and vanilla extract. Mix until combined and pour into prepared pan.
5. Bake for about 80 minutes (if using bundt or tube pan) and probably about an hour for the 9x13 pan. Check after 45 minutes. A skewer or toothpick should come out clean when it is done.
6. Decorate with your favorite glaze, frosting, etc. I confess that I was too lazy to make my own, so I used a store bought whipped cream cheese frosting and it was perfectly delicious.
Result: This makes a lot of cake so great for a party or family gathering. Mine was dense because I subsituted applesauce for most of the oil but I liked it because it felt substantial and since it was covered in cream cheese frosting, I wanted every bite to feel like a big one. Ever eaten a piece of cake and it just didn't do it for you? So sad...
Oven Zucchini Fries (an awesome way to eat veggies with your burgers in the summer time)
Ingredients:
2 small/medium zucchini
1 large egg
1C panko bread crumbs
flour
salt
pepper
3/4 tsp onion powder
3/4 tsp garlic powder
non-stick cooking spray
Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F
1. Don't peel, but trim and cut the zucchini into sticks (or I suspect you could probably do rounds if you really wanted to--then they'd be chips!) Season with salt and pepper and put into a ziplock bag. Add 1-2 Tbsp flour to the bag, seal and shake to coat the zucchini sticks with flour. Set aside.
2. In a separate low bowl, beat the egg with a Tbsp or so of water. Set aside. In another separate low bowl, mix breadcrumbs, salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder. Set aside.
3. Make an assembly line for yourself starting with the flour dredged zucchini, then the egg, then the bread crumbs. Get a cookie sheet lined with foil and sprayed with non-stick spray ready.
4. Roll the zucchini sticks in the egg mixture, then press in the breadcrumbs so they stick (do the best you can and know that they won't be completely coated, no matter what)
5. Lay the sticks so they do not touch (but close together so as to maximize on pan space) and give a final generous spray of non-stick spray before popping in the oven. This may also be a great time to do a sprinkling of parmesan if you so desired.
5. Bake for abot 20-25 minutes until browned and slightly tender.
Results: a delicious addition to a turkey burger (or regular burger, for that matter). I also made a delicious dipping sauce consisting of horseradish, sour cream, salt, pepper, and a generous pinch or three of ground mustard powder. I was inspired by this great horseradish dipping sauce that is served with the deep fried zucchini fries at one of our favorite pubs near our house. I felt like I was being bad, but without actually being bad. Who needs to be weighed down with badness when there's some summer enjoyment to be had?
Savory Zucchini Cakes (as in Latkes, not as in cupcakes)
ingredients:
2-1/2C grated zucchini
1 beaten egg
2Tbsp melted butter
1C breadcrumbs
1/4C onion, grated (I grated mine in the food processor along with the zucchini)
1 tsp Old Bay (I didn't have this, so I just threw in my garlic powder, salt, pepper, paprika, and that was it since my breadcrumbs were already seasoned)
1/4C flour
Olive Oil
Vegetable Oil
Directions:
1. In a bowl, combine zucchini, beaten egg, and butter. Stir in breadcrumbs, onion, and seasoning. If it is too wet, add additional breadcrumbs. You are looking for something like a meatball consistency.
2. Have the flower in a low bowl. In a non stick skillet heat a small amount of olive oil and an equally small amount of vegetable oil--enough to coat the bottom of the pan. The veg oil will keep the olive oil from burning, but the olive oil is better for you than the veg oil, so you are cutting bad stuff AND increasing the cooking ability of the good stuff. Not a horrible deal.
3. Form the zucchini mixture into patties, dredge patties in the flour. My patties were very wet, so I made very loose balls and pressed them down into the flour. Some people say I have the patience of a saint, so I was able to carefully place the falling apart patties into the pan. Much easier to deal with once one side is golden and fabulous.
Results: Crispy/crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. Like a crab cake without the crab. Had these with grilled steak and potatoes. YUMMMMMY!
I highly recommend trying these recipes before you give away all of your garden's green lusciousness.
Yes, that's right. Kinda makes you weak in the knees, doesn't it?
How 'bout now? Glory be, wonderful butter!
This week was all about the flourless chocolate cake. I had not one, but two dessert obligations to fulfill, so I decided as I often do to try something I've never made before but have always been curious about--flourless chocolate cake. Kevin laughs at me quite frequently because I always try new things, rather than making things I'm good at. My argument for that is that I will never know if I'm good a something unless I try, right?
So with copius amounts of bittersweet chocolate, butter, and not much else, I set forth.
Flourless Chocolate Cake
ingredients:
1/2C water
1/4tsp salt
3/4C white sugar
18oz bittersweet chocolate (I used the Toll House 65% Cacao bittersweet bars. My temptation was to skimp due to the price. Please do not skimp. It will be worth it, I promise.)
1C (2 sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature
6 eggs
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Grease a 9 or 10" round cake pan with butter. Cut a round of parchment and place in the bottom. You'll be glad you did.
2. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine water, salt, and sugar. Stir until completely dissolved and set aside.
3. Break/chop chocolate into pieces and put into a glass bowl and melt over a pan of simmering water, making sure that the water does not touch the bottom of the bowl so it doesn't burn the chocolate (remember, you didn't skimp) and that no water gets into the chocolate as it melts or it will sieze up which is not fun and no good for this recipe.
4. When the chocolate has melted and you think that a.) you might die from the sight of this bowl of pure chocolate or b.) you might "accidentally" dip your whole hand in the bowl and have to go sit on the couch with Gilmore Girls reruns while you lick it clean, you know it's time to move on.
5. Pour the chocolate into the bowl of an electric mixer with the paddle attachment if you've got one (not the one that looks like a whisk, and not the dough hook). Cut the butter into pieces and and on med-low, beat the butter into the chocolate one piece at a time. The chocolate is still warm, so hopefully the butter is warm enough that it will melt in.
6. When all the butter has been added, keep the mixer going and beat in the still-hot-but-not-too-hot sugar water until incoporated. Be sure to scrape down sides of the bowl frequently.
7. Beat in eggs one at a time. If you've ever made brownies from scratch, you will think that this looks just like brownie batter before you add the flour. And you'd be right. Fight the urge to add flour please. 
8. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. This cake doesn't rise, so you can fill it nearly to the top if you so desire. Have a roasting pan or another type of deep pan ready. Put the filled cake pan in the larger pan and fill the big pan with boiling water halfway up the sides of the cakepan (otherwise known as a water bath)
9. Bake cake in the water bath for about 45 minutes. It will still look wet, but it will be "set" around the edges. Cool on the countertop and then chill in the fridge overnight. The next day, dip the bottom of the pan in warm water for a few seconds and invert onto a plate.
Results: I decided that this cake needed a raspberry sauce, so I bought two packages of raspberries at the local market, threw them in the same sauce pan I used for the sugar/water mixture, added about 1/4C white sugar and the juice of half a lemon and maybe a splash of water and cooked those berries for about 20 minutes or so. Then, I put the sauce through a strainer, and forced every bit of berry goodness that I could through the sieve, being sure to scrape off all the pulpy parts and mix them into the sauce. Thanks to the pectin in the fruit, it thickened quite nicely. I spooned it over top of the slices of cake before serving. The color and the fruity goodness together made this cake even more special. For future reference, I think I would add some Grand Marnier (orange) or other liquer to make this even more decadent. The possibilities are endless.
My kitchen looked like this when I was done...but it was so worth it.
In late spring, Kelly and I decided what we will be planting in our garden. This year we went out the the back yard and visualized what our little veggie patch would look like being as meticulous as possible (at least as meticulous as K&K can be). Once we decide what we ultimately wanted to grow in the garden the next step is to decide which we would be growing from seeds and which we would just buy as plants. This years' decisions were as follows:
For those of you out there who have zucchini plants, I would love to know what you do with all of them. Even if you aren't struggling under a mound of zucchini, let us know some of your favorite recipes for these little buggers, we'd be eternally grateful.
Kevin is in charge of dinner tonight. On the menu: turkey burgers on the grill and baked zucchini fries. He even bought the buns from the bakery section of the grocery store rather than the wonder bread ones from the bread aisle. Didn't you know I was a hamburger bun snob? Another wonderful foodie trait I gained from my mother.
More to report later and recipes to share... I've been tasked with checking the oven.
I was tired (ok, lazy) tonight and had grand ideas all day long of dining alfresco with my hubby, sipping wine and enjoying the unseasonably cool summer evening. So we headed to Whole Paycheck for some tasty treats. Fresh peaches on sale! I'll take them! Look at those succulent cherries! Sign me up! Green Olive Tapenade? Why not! Chilled Mango Coconut Soup? Sure thing! Throw a baguette in the cart? Of course!
Finally, we found ourselves at the cheese case, pouring over the possibilities. We settle on two selections--a St. Andre' Triple Cream and a Le Petit Brie. With $8 of cheese in hand we headed for check out.
At home, we prepped the tray--cherries, sliced baguette, olive spread, cheese, sliced apple, etc. And then I unwrapped the cheeses...
I've had alot of experience with stinky cheese thanks to my cheese loving parents and a trip to France when I was 14. I've met lots of brie in my day too. Never, ever have I smelled cheese less appetizing. The week old scallops that I finally discovered in the fridge and left in the garbage over night last week didn't even smell that bad. Moral of the story? Forget about the Le Petit Brie and just buy a bigger hunk of the St. Andre. You won't be sad, promise.
As for the rest of the meal, the olive tapenade was good but while I love olives, I'm not fully convinced I'm an olive tapenade fan. Not by itself anyhow. Maybe I'll shmear some on the other half of the baguette with some provolone, salami, capicola, etc. Think Muffaletta, people!
That's what I love about food. If you buy an ingredient that you aren't totally jazzed about, or you have lots of crazy left overs, there's usually a way to repurpose, reconfigure, and rework the parts until it is something that satiates. I think that life is that way too but we are often to frustrated and too distracted to see the possibilites.
So what's on your menu?
I'm terrified of cooking.
Do I cook? Yes. Do I like to cook? Yes, I love the feeling of creating something delicious from a hodgepodge of different ingredients. So why am I scared of cooking? It's because, well, my wife is just so damn good at it. Kelly has that innate ability to look in the fridge, pick out a few things, go to the cupboard and grab some spices, mix it all together and make something phenomenal. That, my friends, is not me. If I go to the cupboard in search of a meal, I'll end up with a bowl of cereal for dinner (which has happened).
No, I'm a recipe cook. You know the kind...anxiously locked in to a recipe, carefully measuring, never (and I mean NEVER) straying from the print on the card, and dirtying most of the dishes, pots, and pans in the kitchen (if you happen to live with a recipe cook, I am sorry...truly I am). Most of what I make turns out pretty well, but we all have our failures; the worst of which landed me in the hospital with a partially reattached thumb tip (buy me a drink, set aside an hour, and I'll tell you the story).
Lately, I have grown a bit in my culinary confidence. This summer I have made my own hot sauce and cooked scallops for the first time while making (very) minor tweaks the those recipes. I'm not going to win The Next Food Network Star any time soon, but if I make something that Kelly and I truly like that's a big enough victory for me.
I recall very vividly my first solo attempt in the kitchen. I was about 8 years old and had been pouring over the Peter Rabbit's Natural Food Cookbook. There was a recipe for Mrs. McGregor's Fudge Cake that I was dying to try (of course).
My mother was working on some new silk designs in her studio next door and I convinced her that I could and would be the responsible young woman she had raised and could handle making this cake "all by my self". Thinking I would stay out of her hair so she could perfect the batik she was working on, she agreed.
She advised me to read the recipe carefully so I would understand the steps and know what ingredients were necessary. Standing in the kitchen with bowls, measuring spoons, cups, and the usual suspects (flour, eggs, butter, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cocoa powder) I was ready for the adventure set before me. I thoughtfully sifted flour. I timidly cracked open each egg. I whisked, blended, mixed and folded. Each ingredient was so carefully measured. Finally, I poured the mixture into the 8x8 pan greased just like the recipe called for. I knew this was going to be the ultimate masterpiece. The perfect book end to a delicious family dinner.
My mother helped me put the pan in the oven and set the timer. Only 35 minutes to transform the buttery batter into heaven on a fork. When the timer dinged, it was all I could do to distract myself until dinner. On the back of the stove, cooling, Mrs. McGregor and her fudgy goodness sat. Oh glorious cake! When would you be mine?
I can't to this day recall what was served for dinner that evening. But I can tell you how much I beamed when the plates were cleared and my fudge cake came to the table. Everyone was served a piece. All afternoon, I was awaiting this very moment. But I was too nervous! I paused to wait for the applause, the enraptured "mmmmm" signaling that this was the most decadent of decadent desserts. It was, afterall, Mrs. McGregor's Fudge Cake.
My eyes were on my mother as she, too, anticipated the sweet delicacy before her. She took the first bite. This was it! Her lips pursed and her eyes rolled in what I was sure was the ultimate compliment. And then she spit the cake back out into her napkin and took a huge gulp of milk from the frosty glass.
I was devastated. It looked just like I thought it should look. I read the recipe 3 times over. I did everything right. Thoughtfully, my mother went through everything step by step with me asking me to show her exactly what I had used to measure each and every ingredient. It then became clear to her (and later to me) that she and I had very different ideas about what careful measuring was. To me, careful measuring was leveling the flour in a measuring cup or making sure the liquid was just to the line. I was a precocious child so it never occured to my mother that fractions hadn't been introduced to me yet, that I was unsure of when to use a "T" or a "tsp" and definitely that I hadn't grasped how many "tsp" are in a "T" or vice versa.
Still, it's kitchen tradgedies like this that have made me who I am as a cook. I have loved to bake since I can remember and of all things I can do in the kitchen, it is one of my favorite things to do. Mistakes and success are all a part of the culinary journey. Julia Child is famous for her mistakes and I doubt Hubert Keller made a perfect omlette right out the womb either.
This blog is about halfway gourmet. Halfway because I can say without pause that I have a long way to go before anyone calls me a gourmet. Sure, I can throw in a little bit of this, a touch of that, and top it with some pine nuts and it comes out looking like something you'd pay alot more to eat someplace else. But what makes a true gourmet? White linens, fine wine and flickering candles, fancy plating with foams, essences, and reductions? Whatever it is, we don't even eat our meals at a real table, so I can't possibly be there.
This is also halfway gourmet because I will be the first to admit that there are days when I would rather (and actually have) eaten a bag of Doritos for dinner. Can you imagine Alice Waters with nacho cheese fingers?
Lastly, it is halfway gourmet because I represent one half of this project. Along with my husband and fellow contributor to this blog, we will be sharing our experiences through the food that we eat. Afterall, a dish worth serving is a dish worth sharing.
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